So I don’t know how my life would be. With all the responsibilities placed on my head (supposedly on my shoulder but I got more so they start with my head), I don’t even know who I am now. I mean, I’ve whined a lot of times. I’ve posted my rants in GT and thanks to my GTalk sisters, they talked to me. But I’m lost.
I hope things could be eased by buying my kikay stuff. I’ve recently purchased a foundation, powder and lip color from Ellana on an installment basis, and that’s what I can consider as my luxury in life. Simple stuff just to make me feel beautiful outside. But deep inside, I am a monster. I have a lot of bitter angst (when did they become sweet?) in me. Because I’m getting tired emotionally, mentally and physically as well.
I’m getting tired of my job to the point that I cry each day. To the point that I drag myself to work. To the point that I want to jump off the jeepney on my way to the office. To the point that when I go the washroom, I have the tendency to run to my locker, get my things and go home. It’s suffocating. But I have no choice but to be suffocated.
I am having trust issues with my boyfriend. I hated it when I found out that he was planning to meet up with a girl, an old friend as he said. He was about to do it without me knowing, thanks to a wonderful gadget called cell phone, I found out about it! He was going to see her to catch up with the old times during the time that it was the most down moment of my life!
I’m getting sick physically. Probably due to stress. I went to World Citi for a check up and the doctor gave me a two-page prescription. I don’t even know what the diagnosis is! I didn’t buy even a single tablet.
I have been so impatient with things the past few days and I’m trying to take it easily and lightly… slowly..breathe..breathe..then I’d end up crying.
Jeezz…
I just hate myself.
